Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

I saw this quote yesterday and it told me EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

It reads:

Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.

• Oprah Winfrey

Weight loss and conquering overeating is impossible to do alone. I keep letting my independent nature get in the way and I tell myself that I can do this alone. I don’t need to call other people. I don’t need to go to meetings. I can do this alone.

Wrong…

Or sometimes, I tell myself that the only reason I use the telephone or go to meetings is for everyone else. THEY need a call, or our meetings need me so they don’t seem so small.

Wrong again…

This is a disease of isolation. It wants you to be alone. It wants you to hide it. It wants you to try to deny there is a problem. That’s when it can grow so well. Don’t let it do it to you and I am posting this quote on my mirror so that I don’t let it do it to me either.

I love this quote from Peter McWilliams:

It reads:

Mistakes, obviously, show us what needs improving. Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on?

• Peter McWilliams

That quote is from a book called, Life 101. It was a life-changing book for me and definitely worth the read. You can read it online here: Life 101 by Peter McWilliams – Read Online.

The next time you go over your calories for the day or skip a workout, remember this quote. It’s an indication of what you need to work on. That mistake is a bright red reminder of where you are weak and how you can get better. It’s not a reason to punish yourself or give up. It’s just feedback.

This postcard from PostSecret made me so sad for the person who sent it in.

It reads:

I can’t bear to tell my family I relapsed so instead I quietly suffer… alone.

I wouldn’t have thought this was about an eating disorder until I saw the “food+body wisdom” circle pasted in the middle. After a little research, I found that it is for Opal, which is a clinic in Seattle, Washington for those with disordered eating.

The person who wrote the postcard is not only aching from the relapse and all the pain in which that encompasses, but from the exorbitant cost her family paid to put her through Opal in the first place. They might accept your health insurance, but they are VERY clear that they are a paid facility with the comment, “Prior to receiving services, every effort will be made to verify insurance eligibility and benefits and educate clients about possible financial obligations. We accept check and credit card for any out of pocket financial obligations.“

There is a way to get help without admitting yourself to a facility that is going to bankrupt your family. Get yourself to Overeaters Anonymous. Find a meeting here:

• Overeaters Anonymous – Find a Meeting

You might not be able to be honest with your family, but you are sure to feel more at home with a room full of people who have the same problem as you do. Binge Eaters, Bulimics, and Anorexics are all welcome there. Your only requirement is that you want to stop being sick about food. You don’t have to burden your family with “financial obligations.” You can get help with us.

Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.

I saw this quote today and I agreed with it wholeheartedly:

It reads:

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

• Sam Levenson

If you are thinking that Overeater’s Anonymous can’t possibly work for you, DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!! I suffered for nearly ten years before I was so sick and discouraged that I tried it in desperation.

Whatever your reason for not giving yourself wholly to OA, drop it now. It’s just an excuse to give your disease more time to ruin your life. If you tried OA and decided it’s not for you, but you are still suffering, then that is also just an excuse to give your disease more time to ruin your life.

Honestly, there are lots of things about the program to scare people away. The introspection and the demands of rigorous honesty are HARD, but they are a hard that’s worth it. Instead of feeding your disease, take those most important steps to get yourself healthy again. Walk yourself right into an OA meeting, find a sponsor, do the step work and keep coming back.

You can’t possible live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself. Learn from mine.

Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

I saw this image on Pinterest today and it kind of pissed me off…

It reads:

It takes 21 days. 21 days of healthy eating and working out and it will become a habit.

All I could think when I saw this was:

LIARS!!

I have been eating healthy and moderately working out every day for almost a year and it’s STILL not a habit. If I don’t diligently write down the phrase, “Walk dog 20 minutes” on my to-do list every day, I will blow off my workout. The only thing that’s even close to a habit is writing that phrase on my to-do list.

If I didn’t have my Fitbit vibrating my wrist every two and a half hours, I would FORGET TO EAT. That sounds like a great problem to have until an hour and a half later when I am bingeing on whatever food is nearby. It’s vitally important that I don’t skip those meals, but I definitely would if I didn’t have my Fitbit warning me. The closest thing to a habit I have about eating is to make sure I wear and charge my Fitbit.

I have an eating disorder. Sadly, I will ALWAYS have an eating disorder. Twenty-one days won’t cure it. A lifetime won’t cure it. I will have to watch myself carefully for the rest of my life and a little yellow image telling me that I can create new habits in a mere twenty-one days just sets me up for failure.

Don’t believe the hype. It might be easier for you after twenty-one days, but you won’t have any magic habits to make your life better. You can’t depend on that. If you do, it will only set you up for failure.

Back in 2010, Kelly Osbourne lost a lot of weight. She was even featured on Shape Magazine back then.

She deserves major kudos because she has kept that weight off for four years, which is UNHEARD of. Here she is at the Classic Rock Awards, supporting her father.

Whenever I see a celebrity lose weight I want to congratulate them on their hard work, but Kelly has done something even harder. She has KEPT it off!

2014 Image via: Kelly Osbourne pays tribute to dad Ozzyat the Classic Rock Awards | Daily Mail Online

This quote reminded me of how I used to think.

It reads:

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.

• E. B. White

I grew up watching The Jetsons and Disney’s cartoons about the House of the Future. I was told that I would have “Better Living Through Science.”

And I do.

I sincerely do have a better life because of a myriad of scientific discoveries and technological breakthroughs. But some of the promises turned out to be harmful instead of helpful.

For example, take that miraculous Monsanto Wheat that can grow in the winter. It has saved thousands from starvation, but I truly believe that it is part of the reason I was so sick for so long. Maybe the pre-GMO wheat would have made me just as sick, but now I cannot even eat that without pain.

Or perhaps, that idea that we’ll be able to eat all our meals in a single pill. That IS true. We could eat three or four protein bars a day and have almost all the nutrients we would need to stay alive. But eating to stay alive isn’t what I have ever needed to do. I was eating to feed something else.

I have found that when I “taste the sweetness and respect the seniority of Nature,” I enjoy life more and FEEL better. I used to eagerly await the day when machines would spit out the exact calories and nutrients I needed for my own personal system. Now, I just grab an apple and some almonds.

Update 12-18-14

I’ve written a meditation book for atheists that you can see here: Twelve Step Meditations for Atheists by Laura M. at Amazon.com

My beloved rosary broke a few weeks ago, spewing beads everywhere. I’ve talked before about how I use it for weight loss meditation and it has been so helpful to me.

• How To Use A Rosary for OA Meditations

I gathered the beads that I could and made this mini rosary bracelet.

So much of the rosary is just extra beads. I can count on those ten beads five times instead of carting around a huge rosary, I can wear this discrete little bracelet wherever I go. I can touch the beads and recite my meditations anywhere without anyone knowing. Very stealthy.

Here’s how I meditate with my mini rosary bracelet.

Just like the big rosary, at the tree bead, I do the OA Promise Meditation:

I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness, no longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower. We are all together now, reaching out our hands for power and strength greater than ours, and as we join hands, we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams.

Then, each time there is a single bead, I do the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.

For the three beads, I do the Third Step Prayer:

God, I offer myself to thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always.

For the ten bead grouping, I do the Seventh Step Prayer, but I change it slightly. I do one set for each character defect I have, replacing “every single defect of character” with the particular defect (i.e. guilt, resentment, anger, etc.) and replacing the word “strength” for the corresponding positive aspect of each defect (i.e. self-acceptance, forgiveness, calm, etc.). I will write more about this technique in the future.

My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of Me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your bidding.

Sometimes, I just do the generic seventh step prayer once and that’s more than enough to help me.

This little bracelet has given me such a peace to just see it on my wrist. No one can tell that it’s a talisman for me. You can make yourself a bracelet just like this or even make yourself a different one that works better for your needs. Find yourself a similar talisman and you will find a strength during the trying times of the day.

Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

Sometimes things I write come back to smack me in the face. This quote was taken from a fiction blog I write called, Merriton.

It reads:

Better to look weak and be strong than to look strong and be weak.

• Laura Moncur

Every time I start exercising again, it spirals out of control and I do WAY too much, which, ironically, causes a binge and usually injuries. So, I have held back on exercising. I did so much of it before and it never helped me lose weight. All it did was make me eat more.

I still walk my dog every day for a minimum of twenty minutes, but that’s something I do for her and for the sunshine that it gives me. I need at least twenty minutes of sun a day or I get a little depressed and stabby. That’s the sum total of my exercise for the last year, in which time I’ve lost a total of 56 pounds.

But then again, I know I am weak, no matter how much stronger I look.

I strained my back just walking yesterday. I didn’t pick up something too heavy or twist wrong. All I was doing was walking. THAT’S how weak I’ve become. But I don’t know how to get back to my weight-lifting regime without setting off my exercise bulimia.

I’m just as powerless over exercise as I am over food.

It has taken me a year to realize this. I NEED to exercise, just as much as I need to eat. It builds muscle. It keeps me strong. It protects my back and bones. It’s just as important as healthy food and just as binge-inducing. So, I need to treat it just like I have food ever since I joined Overeater’s Anonymous.

I’m powerless. I can’t control it. So I’ll just hand it over to someone who can.

I don’t know if it will be a trainer or my sponsor or what form my Higher Power may take in this case, but all I know is that I won’t be in charge. I overdo it and hurt myself every time I think I’m in charge.

The first job, however, is to finish unpacking the exercise room so I can use my weights again…

Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

I saw this quote today and it made me think:

It reads:

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

• Plato

So much of my talking is because I have to say something instead of having something to say. I like to think that I’m providing a service to those poor, shy people by yakking up a storm, but instead, I am revealing my insecurities to the world.

I’m scared of the quiet.

When things are quiet, I imagine that the other person is stewing and thinking bad thoughts about me. If they weren’t they’d talk, right?

WRONG…

Sometimes there is just nothing to say. Sometimes it’s okay for things to be quiet. My filling the air doesn’t stop the other person from thinking bad thoughts about me. In fact, my careless words might give them something bad to think.

The act of shutting my mouth and letting the other person talk or even allow there to be silence is difficult for me. It’s one act that I need to learn and practice so that I can be a better person.