Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

Every time I post anything about fat acceptance, I get blasted. I try to edit out the most offensive comments before anyone sees them, but the articulate ones are left to bring about discussion. Considering that I am writing about health and fitness, it might seem strange that I’m such an advocate for fat acceptance, so I’m here to tell you why I believe that we need to be willing to see more fat people on television, in magazines and everywhere else.

The opposite of fat acceptance is fat fear, fat disgust, fat discrimination. I’ve been on the receiving end of that spectrum and, quite frankly, it didn’t feel so good. Now that I’m thinner, people are nicer to me. I had less problems in the business world. Everything just got easier. Is that fair? I’m still just as competent and efficient as I was when I was fat, but no one infers that I’m lazy anymore. I’m still just as witty as I was before, but people laugh at my jokes more now. More people look me in the eye. My insurance premiums are cheaper.

Is that fair?

Fat discrimination runs rampant throughout our society and it is accepted by people who would scream bigot if someone made similar comments about race or sexual orientation. Prejudice is fear and hate and I will fight both as ardently as I can. The reason people are prejudice against the obese is because they both fear and hate them.

Fat Hate:

People hate (or resent) fat people because they think fat people can eat whatever they want. They assume that the obese have never dieted a day in their lives. They rationalize that if someone is fat, they are lazy. It’s prejudice, plain and simple. People make assumptions about the obese based solely on their body type which have little to do with reality.

When I was fat, I was constantly starving. I was always on a diet or recovering from one. Exercise was harder for me back then than it is now, because I was packing 75 extra pounds. When I exercised, I burned more calories than I do now because I was so overweight. It was harder, yet I did it every day.

When I was fat, I worked hard at my jobs, yet I had to defend myself against implications that I was lazy all the time. Weighing 235 pounds had absolutely no effect on how many phone calls I could answer or how many insurance claims I could process every day, yet I was constantly defending myself against insults about laziness. Not even my daily performance, which was one of the highest in my group, could protect me from those insults. Only losing the weight changed their perception of me.

Fat Fear:

“Oh my God! Look at that woman! How does she live like that?! Oh please, don’t ever let that happen to me.”

Thoughts like these are far less detrimental to the obese than the prejudice of Fat Hate. They are far more detrimental to the person thinking them. People fear overweight people because they fear the prejudice of others. It doesn’t help that the media is constantly feeding the fear with threats of obesity causing diseases (as opposed to aggravating diseases that are already present).

Living in a state of fear is harmful. It is one of those low-grade stressors that accumulate in your mind and you wonder why your shoulders are tight all the time and you have the beginnings of an ulcer. Learning to accept fat people will lesson that fear and will help you more than you can imagine.

The day I decided that I was going to accept my body (fat and all), was the day that I let go of the fear. After a few months of truly accepting and loving my body for what it was, I started eating healthier to take better care of myself. I started exercising to make my heart healthier. I did all of these things to take better care of my body. I even joined Weight Watchers to learn how to eat healthier because I was so confused by all the diets I had put myself through during my fat years.

The lack of fat people in advertising, magazines, on television and in movies is just a form of Fat Fear. Hollywood is the worst offender in this category. Because being fat can kill the career of an actor or actress, is it any wonder that they fear? That’s why I applaud every magazine that features real-looking people. Don’t feed your fear of fat by only allowing images of the bone thin into your life.

Getting rid of Fat Fear is something that you do for yourself. When you are able to completely accept fat people without prejudice, you are actually helping yourself be healthier. Let go of the fear. It isn’t helping you. It’s harming you.

What I Don’t Agree About Fat Acceptance:

I hear the phrase “Diets Don’t Work” in the Fat Acceptance circles. I hate to disagree with them, but they are wrong. When you eat a healthy diet and consume less calories than you burn, you lose weight. It’s physics physiology. There is no way around it. Fad diets typically don’t work, but a healthy diet does.

I hear stories about people who insist that they ate correctly, but still didn’t lose weight. I think if someone had followed them around all day and kept meticulous track of what they ate and how they exercised, I’m sure they could have found the problem. When we are truly honest with ourselves, we know when we are cutting corners. Now that most food has nutrition facts, it is so much easier than it used to be.

I don’t believe that Fat Acceptance means giving up responsibility. Just because someone is fat doesn’t mean that they deserve the kind of abuse that I received. I believe fat people should be protected from discrimination, but I also believe that being thinner helps a lot of health problems. I chose to lose weight because I wanted my body to be healthy and last a long time, but I don’t think anyone has the right to discriminate against someone who is fat.

Commenting on my Sexy New Diet Secrets entry, Brandi said:

i would like to know what jessica simpson did to look so good for the dukes of hazzard. i love her body. can you help me out

Brandi,

You obviously didn’t read the article.

EAT LESS. EXERCISE MORE.

More importantly, you need to examine your motives. You are here to be the best you can be. Trying to be a cheap Jessica Simpson rip off isn’t being true to yourself. Find out who you are and strive to be that instead of trying to fit into Jessica Simpson’s cut-offs.

Good Luck,
Laura Moncur

This postcard from PostSecret rang a bell for me. My friend had a trampoline. The two of us would jump on it all summer long. At night, we would roll our sleeping bags on it and sleep outside. We lived on that trampoline.

Unless there were guys over at her house…

My friend was perfectly willing to jump and flip on the trampoline when guys were there, but I would just stay on the sidelines and hang out. She preferred the spotlight and I willingly gave it up. She was much more acrobatic than I was, so her jumping was more impressive than mine could have been.

I always felt that too much of me would jiggle if I jumped on the trampoline in front of the guys. I guess I wasn’t comfortable enough with my jiggly parts. I don’t even know if I am now. I wore a jogging bra all day at CES because I knew I was going to be trying out games where I might jiggle too much. It was uncomfortable and chaffed, but somehow that was better than jiggling too much when I tried out all the equipment.

PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.

I turned my eyes away from this postcard from PostSecret. I didn’t even want to think about this one. No matter how far I’ve come lately, I haven’t been able to like how I look naked. Sometimes, I can catch a glimpse of enjoying my appearance when I’m wearing clothing that I feel are flattering, but I have never looked at myself naked and felt proud.

When will that come for me?

PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.

This is a story from a man who is riding across the United States on a bicycle.

• Happy News – AP takes a backroads U.S. bicycle journey – by Calvin Woodward

He is so right about people opening up to him about their dreams:

“When you bicycle across the country, people tell you their dreams, because they see you are living yours.”

I’ve experienced the same thing. When I tell people that I quit my job to write full-time, I always hear about their dreams. Even strangers will tell me what they want to do someday. It’s like the act of living my dreams has opened all the people up around me like flowers. They want to live their dreams, too. Don’t we all?

I have wanted to ride my bike across the United States for a long time. I think I first heard about it in Runner’s World magazine. I showed the picture of the woman who had done it to Mike. “Wouldn’t that be great?! To just ride your bike across America?” He didn’t think it would be so great.

After reading this story, I am inspired. It took him three months to cross the continent. Where will I be three months from now? How many imaginary miles will I have ridden on my bike on my trainer in the house? Enough to take me across the U.S.? Probably not, but doesn’t it sound like such an adventure?

If you are interested in riding across the U.S. on your bicycle, here is a website from a guy who actually did it. You can read his journals, see his equipment list and look at the photos he took along the way.

• David Moretz – Bike Across the U.S.

Here is a map of the Transamerica Trail, which is a quiet, off-road trail, safe for bikes to cross the United States. It’s not detailed enough to follow with your bike, but it gives you an idea of where you can ride.

• Transamerica Trail

Take a virtual ride across America

For the less adventurous, you can print up that map and mark your progress at home along the trail. If you go on a twenty-mile bike ride on the stationary bike at the gym, you can mark the progress on your map.

This article is about the stages of change and how far along the stage you might be.

• Treatment Online – More than just a Resolution – by Lily Hung, PhD

Lily lists the stages of change as follows:

• Precontemplation: no change in one’s behavior is being considered.

• Contemplation: one becomes aware of a desire to change a particular behavior, i.e. making a New Year’s Resolution, but not taking any active steps.

• Preparation: there is not only a desire to change, but also evidence of commitment to make that change in the near future, such as not only making a Resolution, but taking a few active steps toward that goal.

• Action: the change in the criterion behavior actually occurs. Progressing through this stage may include intense effort to modify behavior itself as well as the environment in which the behavior occurs, and can last for a while.

• Maintenance: consists of ongoing change of behavior. However, this is that stage that most people are faced with relapse to a previous stage. Relapse can sometimes be fought by focusing on the benefits and gains from the change.

No matter where you are on the stages of change, it is possible to make lasting changes in your life. If you notice that you are in the Precontemplation or Contemplation stages, and notice that you are not willing to take the steps necessary to live a healthy lifestyle, don’t bother. Don’t say you’re going to go on a diet if you aren’t willing to do what needs to be done. You would spend your time much more wisely if you decide to eat whatever you want and just learn to love yourself as you are.

So, you looked at the New Year’s Resolutions from last year and you’re unhappy with the results? Steve Pavlina has the answer to help you stick to your resolutions for this year.

• Steve Pavlina – Be Patient With Yourself

He is talking about personal development in general, but this article is dead on as far as weight loss is concerned. It probably took you more than a year to get fat, so it will probably take more than a year to take off the weight and learn healthy habits.

Even if you’re working a great deal on your own personal growth, you may look back on yourself a year ago and think, “I didn’t get very far this year at all.” That’s OK. It doesn’t mean you failed. For most big changes, a year is too little time. Look back at yourself five or ten years ago. Notice any differences? Unless you’re a stick in the mud, they’ll be a lot more pronounced. You’ll have a better sense of what worked and what didn’t.

A general rule of thumb is that people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year, but they underestimate what they can accomplish in five years. I’ve found this to be fairly accurate.

When I look at myself back in January of 2001, I was just starting on this road to health. I had decided never to diet again and to love myself just the way I was. That idea was liberating to me, but I also gained a lot of weight because I had finally taken off the reigns of my eating. I was closer to loving myself than I had been for a long time, but I had no idea about what was healthy and what wasn’t. I believed every dieting hype that was out there.

Five years later, I’m healthier than I’ve ever been. I exercise regularly. I’m not at my goal weight yet, but I’m much further along than I ever thought I would be when I decided never to diet again and to just love my body the way it is.

If you have been beating yourself because you’re not where you wanted to be when January 2006 rolled around, take Steve Pavlina’s advice: be patient with yourself. This is a journey. You can travel it at whatever speed works best for you.

Loving our bodies, no matter how they look is the first step toward a healthy lifestyle and psyche. I love these women and when you see the videos that they have on their website, you KNOW that these babes can DANCE!

• Big Burlesque — The Original Fat-Bottom Revue

After looking through their website, here is my favorite quotation:

“There are a lot of hot, big girls out there who want to learn how to shake it and I’m the one who’s going to show them.” – Heather MacAllister

Before I found DDR to feed my dancing demons, I used to go dancing at all the clubs of Salt Lake City. I really enjoy dancing and after years and years of grandparentally forced dance classes in an effort to thin me down, I am a pretty good dancer. I’m naturally pretty clumsy, so I end up not looking like the best dancer, but I know how to give a good shimmy.

I was always amazed at the reactions of other women to my dancing. The hot girls would make fun of me and point. I always wondered if they thought that I wasn’t allowed to dance because I was fat, or if they just were jealous of my “mad dancing skillz.” Probably the former since I pretty much dance exactly how I did in 1987 when vogueing was still in style.

A sad thing is that I rarely get to see really good dancers that are overweight. This makes everyone think that fat people just shouldn’t dance. As if no one wanted to see it. Good dancing is good dancing, folks. Even people who are overweight can shake it. It takes grace and strength, not skinny thighs.

Even sadder, it discourages fat people from dancing, whether it be in clubs or for performances or even playing DDR. Dancing and the movement of the body to music is such a healing and cathartic act. I remember waiting all week just so I could go dancing on the weekend. It had less to do with the guys that I would meet at the clubs and much more to do with dancing until I was sweaty and exhausted. There is something tribal and instictive about dancing that EVERYONE should enjoy, whether you’re graceful or not.

Next time you’re looking for an exercise to mix up your routine, give dancing a try. You might just find a healthy habit that you love.

When I was in junior high and high school, I begrudged every hour spent in gym class. I did my best to avoid the “real” gym classes and took the specialty classes like Dance, Jogging, Weight Training, and Swimming. I would complain to any adult willing to listen about the injustice of having to take gym classes. I was a straight A student, shouldn’t I be exempt from gym classes?

The answer I got was: Shut up and quit sloughing gym!

This is the answer that I should have gotten:

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I have been using writing as a way to alleviate stress in my life for years, but it’s nice to know that researchers are trying to understand why it works.

• Treatment Online – Cut Stress–Write!

If you are feeling out of control in your life, give yourself an hour and write non-stop. It doesn’t matter if it’s on paper or on the computer. I usually have a goal of writing continuously until I stop feeling like bingeing. If I have to write, “I have nothing to say” over and over, that’s fine, but I usually only have to write it a couple of times before what’s really bugging me comes out on paper. Just giving myself the time and privacy to get my words down on paper is enough to help calm the urges to eat or binge my way through the hard times in life.