Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

I found this picture in my grandmother’s photos.

I don’t know who the two girls are. Neither one is her or any of her sisters. I know what they looked like. So they must be friends of my grandma.

But maybe they’re not. Maybe they are the rich girls in town and have a bike that is cooler than she has ever seen. They might have a really cool bike, but she had a brownie camera and she got a picture of them.

Friendship or envy, it doesn’t matter so many years after the fact. It is almost certain that everyone in this photograph and even the photographer is dead.

Sometimes that’s how I feel about all the things that used to bother me enough to make me eat. It’s like that quote from Fight Club:

On a long enough timeline. The survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

• Chuck Palahniuk

When I used to use food as a drug, I would eat when someone was mean or difficult. If there was tension or if my feelings got hurt, I would turn to the food. Now, (thanks to Overeater’s Anonymous), I have other tools to use when those feelings show up. Instead of eating, I can use one of the many tools in my toolbox to figure out how to deal with the problem instead of just covering it up with food.

So, in the end, it doesn’t matter if that photo was taken in friendship or envy. All I can see are my grandma’s friends on a bike.

Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.