Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

This is one of the quotes that convinced me that I had been living my life incorrectly.

It reads:

The secret of all success is to know how to deny yourself. Prove that you can control yourself, and you are an educated man; and without this all other education is good for nothing.

• R. D. Hitchcock

I had known that living a life of hedonism was wrong. I had learned that over the years, but I never knew of the concept of sophrosyne. I had never been taught that self-control and moderation could create a healthy state of being. Sure, I had heard the phrase, “All things in moderation,” but it wasn’t a way of life for me.

In fact, I loved to find objections to that rule. Really? All things in moderation? How much rat poison is moderate?

Despite that, the concept of living a moderate life has brought me FAR more happiness than hedonism ever did. Being able to deny myself has given me more peace of mind, happiness and calm than over-doing it ever did.

And YES, all my other education was good for NOTHING in the face of that hedonism. NOTHING. It didn’t matter that I had a degree. It didn’t matter that I was a writer. NOTHING mattered except more and more eating. There was no way to stop it, no matter how much I learned about the dopamine response, it was useless without the ability to deny myself.

And I haven’t learned how to deny myself, really. I just handed all those decisions about food over to a part of mind that continually makes better decisions than I ever did. Should I eat that? What does my FitBit say? Has my meal alarm went off? What does Lose It say? Do I have any calories left? I don’t make those decisions anymore, because when I did, I chose hedonism. I can’t be trusted to make those decisions, so sophrosyne is in charge, not me.

I am so surprised that this quote means so much to me. It has literally saved my life.

I adore this quote from Horace:

It reads:

Remember when life’s path is steep to keep your mind even.

• Horace

The path in that picture is of the Na Pali Coast Trail. Mike and I visited Hawaii back in 2002 and hiked part of this trail on that trip. It was VERY hard for us and I was sore for days afterward. Here’s a picture Mike snapped of me on that trip.

I remember thinking, “Someday I’ll be really fit and be able to do the whole hike.” It is nearly THIRTEEN years later and I’m not there yet. This life really is steep, so I’m keeping my mind even. Hopefully, by the time I return, I WILL be fit and able to do the whole hike without suffering for days afterwards.

So much of recovery is dealing with the past. This quote seems to help me.

It reads:

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

• Josh Billings

The only problem I have with this quote is the idea that revenge is important. Don’t get me wrong. I like the idea of revenge. I can waste many hours of my life imagining what the perfect revenge is, but in the end, it is really just a waste of time.

I recently rewatched an episode of How I Met Your Mother from the 8th season called The Final Page.

• How I Met Your Mother: The Final Page – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In that episode, they talk about revenge and who you would put in your “Silence of the Lambs” pit if you had the chance. In the end, however, you learn that when you have those sorts of fantasies, the only person really in your “Silence of the Lambs” pit is yourself. And the only person who can free you, is you.

So, forgiveness really IS the true revenge. You need to forgive the people who have hurt you in your life, because if you don’t, you’re just going to stay down in that pit, hoping someone will throw you a line.

I love this quote from Jennifer Hudson:

It reads:

If you’re… asking yourself why I have this success and you don’t, don’t be angry with me—stop and ask yourself what your issues are that are holding you back.

• Jennifer Hudson, I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down, 2012

This quote is from Jennifer Hudson’s book, I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down. I really liked the book and found lots of quotes in it that I really liked.

I never did a review of this book because I read it at a particularly low time in my life, when I felt as if I couldn’t do anything about my eating. I wasn’t too far off the mark. I AM powerless over my eating. I just can’t do anything about it, so I have to let my inner mind deal with it. It’s way better at those things than I am, anyway.

I am going to read this book again because I’m in a much better place than I was before and I’m interested to read it with new eyes.