Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

Christmas was kind of hard on me this year. I let my bingeing creep back into my life during those two weeks of holidays. After Christmas, I got right back to eating healthy, but then I started bingeing again in Las Vegas during CES. I have been eating healthy for a couple of weeks now, but it is going to take some time for me to get back to the weight I was before Christmas.

It’s kind of frustrating.

At one point, Mike and I were out to dinner with a friend visiting his family here in Salt Lake. I was out of control at the restaurant and I ordered a huge cheesecake. I mumbled to Mike, “Right after Christmas, I’m going to get back on track. I promise.” It was a comment meant for Mike, but our friend responded, “I know you will.”

I crinkled my forehead at him. “What?” I asked. He continued, “I know you’ll get back on track because you’ve done it before. You have kept this weight off for what… five years?” I nodded, even though it had only been four years. He continued, “You’re the only person I know who has lost so much weight and kept it off. I’m sure you’ll get back on track. That weight is never coming back.”

He seemed so sure of it that he actually convinced me. I work at eating healthy every day, but I am constantly watching to make sure that the weight won’t come back. It’s something I have been fighting against this whole time. Somehow, to him, I had proven myself and I was now a skinny person in his mind.

When am I going to be a skinny person in my own mind?