Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

This article on Happy News makes me nostalgic about food and candy.

• Happy News – Candy bar inspired by Idaho spuds a seller – by Associated Press

My grandma used to love the Idaho Spud candy bars. I have no idea if these are available outside the western states surrounding Idaho, but they taste very good. The exterior is a waxy, cheap chocolate with coconut. The insides of the candy bar taste like a combination of maple and marshmallow. It almost melts the moment it hits your tongue. My grandma used to love these candy bars. They were a special treat and she wouldn’t share.

My memories of her eating these candy bars is in complete conflict with her personality. She was obsessed with dieting. She was obsessed with making us be on a diet. There was a time when I had to share the last boiled potato with my grandma. I was so hungry that it was the most delicious potato I’ve ever tasted in my life. How can I equate that grandma that shared the potato with me and the one that obsessed over Idaho Spud?

It’s not like she was bingeing on the candy bars. They are difficult candies to find in Montana. Yet, she was all about denial. She wasn’t at a healthy weight when we were up in Montana, and she never lost weight while she was up there. Was she quietly bingeing in the middle of the night when we couldn’t see her? I learned my bingeing behaviors from my dad (her son). Did he learn this behavior from her or because of her?

Eating behavior is such an “in the closet” thing. There is so much about my grandma and my father that I just don’t know and I have no desire to ask about it. She died years ago and I rarely speak to my dad, so I guess it will all just stay in the closet. It’s such a private thing that I can’t even talk to my dad about it.