Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

Before I even read the words on this PostSecret postcard, I knew that it was saying something to me. I’ve never truly been skinny for a long time, so I haven’t had the constant yo-yoing in my life, but it’s true. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have an eating disorder. I have only about three or four memories from before the day that I decided I was fat.

Sometimes I feel like having a bingeing problem is so interlaced with my personality that I will never be able to be free of it. Sure, I can count the binges in the last few months on my hands, so the problem has dimished to the point where I can be healthy, but it’s still there. Do I just live with it for the rest of my life or is there a way to actually free myself of this pattern?

I refuse to believe that I have to fight bingeing for the rest of my life. I have to hold on to the hope that I will someday be able to finally conquer the feelings that cause this pattern. The more I learn and grow, the closer I get to that point every day.

PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.