Buy Walking VideosPostSecret: Anorexic Self-Restraint
Just like this PostSecret postcard, I must admit the envy I’ve felt when I’ve looked at the incredibly thin and perfect. I’m not talking about the walking skeletons that I’ve seen. Those women make the Italian mother in me swell up. I want to give them a sandwich. I want to cook pasta for them.
No, the envy I’ve felt is for those perfect little women right on the border of an eating disorder. I’ve seen them at the gym and at the mall. They pick at their salad from Chick-Fil-A, avoiding the crunchy chicken bits. They try on the smallest sizes and complain that they don’t fit. They shop at The Limited Too.
I feel like they don’t deserve it. It’s not logical because I see them sweating it out at the gym. They run and run on that treadmill. How could they not deserve the perfect body? Somehow there is a glitch in my brain that feels like they couldn’t possibly know how it feels to be fat. I wonder if anyone thinks those things about me?
PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.
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April 11th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
i guess why you think that they dont deserve it: most of these really skinny beautiful girls would look UGLY(in the face!) with some more lbs… its riddiculous that people say someone is beautiful if the person is thin a person with a beautiful face LOOS GOOD AND ATTRACTIVE even when he or she has a little bit too much weight!
April 16th, 2007 at 12:21 am
I use to be anorexic (5’4” and 70lbs) sure i was thin but my face skin sagged and from behind I looked like a toad if you’d strech him out on his hind legs.
I was like this for years, I just got out of the hospital (4 months ago) I am now 107Lbs at 5’4” and I am slipping back into my anorexia. Yes I am a bulimic, I eat 30,000Kcals but I “PURGE” THEM so in reality I have no idea what i eat.
I wish i would of died in the hospital, they said i was good to. too bad!
I LOOK AT SKINNY PEOPLE AT THE GYM AND GET PISSED THAT THEY LOOK SO GOOD, I’ll never be good enough
April 24th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Do not idolize us. We’re no heros for being unhealthy. Just people who are too weak to be healthy. We’re commited because we don’t know how to stop.
April 30th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
There was a time where I wouldn’t eat but my exboyfriend got me out of the habit by forcing me to eat and threatening to get others involved I am 5’7″ and 129lbs and I can’t stand how fat I look. I try not to complain to my friends because they tell me again and again how I “don’t look fat” and I can’t stand how they wont even let me go to the bathroom alone after eating anymore.
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:45 pm
5’6″. Struggling around 103 lbs. People say “You’re thin!” They call me “toothpick”. I don’t see it. It’s scary. People that are extremely thin are not to be envied. I’m there. I am not anorexic, or bulimic, but people ask if I am. I’m jealous of you, for not going through stares and whispers of “She’s too thin…”
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:05 am
Hello, im 13 5’4 39kg (sorry i cant count in lbs) and im anorexic- i think. i have no clue what to do.. its scary, all my friends found out and they wont stop putting food in front of my face and saying eat it!! go on eat it! The school has found out too, they called my mum, but she doesnt believe them. Sometimes when everyone is sleeping i go into the kitchen and take some food, bring it to my room and look at it for hours… and im the morning i congratulate myself for having resisted to my ex-favorite food. im not skinny but i want to be, i havent lost a kg in a ages, i hate this. i will not go to hospital, i dont need to. Im not sick..am i? Thanks for listening, Anonymous Girl ps: sorry if the order of my sentences dont really make sence, but i have too many things going on in my head for them to come out nicely.. x good luck to all of you who are bulimic and anorexic or to all of you who are getting better.
May 5th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Don’t idolize us. Ever. ED’s are hell because you will never see your true self. Ive got Body Dysmorphic Disorder an an ED. the ED is because of the BDD. No, it’s not fun. And we rarely want to stop. We count everything. We’re paranoid and we lie.
DONT idolize us.
May 6th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
i want to be like my friend. she’s so skinny, but eats everything she wants. she’s not even that active. but heres me th 118 lb 5″7 er. i’m such a fatass i don’t know what to do. I hate when people say they wish they had my body. THEY DON’T. shut up. just shut up. they have no idea. self-restraint is one of the hardest things i put myself through everyday. i love all of youu. keep trying. but don’t push too far. I’m afraid i will. no ones gonna stop me. you hear that .. ? good.
May 6th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Heres a tip for you Kae, if you have less then 400 calories a day for a few days, you get a rush of extreme calm but be careful… I know what you feel like, no1 can make me eat if i dont want to. I pushed my friend to be like me, she was a binge eater, now she eats nothing..but whats done is done.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:53 am
Life is about enjoying yourself that includes food, we could have went down the path you have taken, but you just push everyone you care about away, whats the point.You only live once, think of the people who can’t walk or see. You can, make the most of it, we’d bet everything we have that all you ladies are stunning and everyone around you thinks so to. It’s just you lot who need to start believing it.We’re not trying to patrinise you, we now what it’s like to want to be thin. You just have to try your hardest to snap out of it. And live your lives meaning not feeling guilty when you’ve munched a mars bar. It’s far better to be healthy, loving life, than stick thin, hating it. Good luck to you all, we send our love and hope you have fantastic futures.
May 10th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
I’m 5’7.. and I don’t even know how much I weigh =/. The only scale in the house is in my mom’s room, and if she catches me weighing myself.. she may get supsicious. But, if i had to guess i’d say I’m somewhere between 120 and 130 lbs. Regardless – I feel gigantic. All of my friends are thin, and we’re all very active. The guys jokingly say I’m the ‘least anorexic (skinny)’ of my ‘clique’.. that hurts. I don’t know what to do to watch what I eat when my mom cooks for me, and my dad is constantly lecturing me on a ‘good athlete’s diet’ and how I’m a poor example of a athlete. If I don’t finish what is on my plate, I’m not allowed to leave the dinner table.. WHAT SHOULD I DO??!
I don’t want to be ana/mia.. I just want to lose a few pounds by watching what I eat.. or what I don’t eat =]. 110 pounds sounds fantastic.. thats what I weighed in 7th grade!.. I just don’t know how to get there. =[[ <– thats my double chin.
May 13th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
I am a ballet dancer. i used to be rather thin (5 6 and 119 lbs) and when i was that weight i was consumed by the ED. It was all i could think about, i ate only 300 cals a day, and lost my period for seven months. Everyone at dance congradulated me, my director gave me lead roles, and all my friends were excited that i was looking more like a dancer. Over the summer i broke. i started binging, i was HUNGRY. At night i would come home to my apartment and just stuff myself until i thought i would be sick. i gained 15 lbs, and hate myself for it. Dont be jelous of me. Now i cant even walk past a shop window with out shuddering at my reflection. People now pinch my back and comment on how fat ive gotten. Dont be jelous of us, we live with this shadow above our heads, a curse that will never leave us alone, tormenting us to until we dig our grave with our eating.
May 14th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
My girlfriend has an eating disorder. It started about 10 months ago. I met her 7 months ago, and had asked her about it one day. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and also, the saddest. After hours upon hours of talking about her anorexia and the shit piled underneath, she has not gotten better. Only more confused.
Envy.
Pretty. Skinny. Gorgeous. Radiant.
You should see her smile. I saw right through it the second I saw her. And its torn down with some wish of perfection. The funny thing about perfection, is you will never find it.
I want to see her smile without wondering “is she happy? Or does she just think she is?”.
This is not a lecture, just, another perspective.
May 16th, 2007 at 11:28 am
Im 5’7 and about 130lbs and I wish so badly that I could be skinny. All of my friends are skinny. They always tell me that I have a “perfect body” and that they wish they had my body. and I dont see it. My legs are fat, my arms are fat, my skin sucks, i feel gross.
May 21st, 2007 at 9:04 pm
I’m 5″1 and I weigh 120 lbs. I don’t want to be anorexic or bulimic. I just want to be a little more slender. I read a lot(novels, comics), I watch a few TV shows, play video games, read magazines. Everywhere I look are slender women. They work out or they diet a lot but no matter what I do I don’t shed a pound. Even if I did my mom would make me gain the weight back. I went vegan a while go and lost 7 pounds but my mom flipped and I eventualy had to be a vegetarian again and gained the weigh back. It just won’t come off!!! I grab the fat around my stomache and wonder if it would hurt so bad jut to cut it off with a knife(don’t worry I won’t….I’m not that stupid!) I don’t think about my weight a lot but my skin is always full of zits and to oily, I hate summer because I tan way to dark….I have big feet…and the skin above my lip is dark and it looks like a have a mustache…I do have a mustache(kinda). I feel like the ugliest thing ever. Especialy since all of my friends have or have had boyfriends and no one asks me out. Except for the dorks who find a new crush every day of the week. Why can’t I turn into a butterfly and be beautiful to someone….I know outbeauty is nothing compared to the beauty within but when I read about the wonderful heroines who have both I become so envious I can’t stop myself from looking at what has become of me.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Hi. I’m actually doing a project on eating disorders right now. I picked the topic because I was on the verge of one two years ago. Worrying about weight will never stop for me, but, girls, or boys who have an ED, you have no idea what you’re missing!! When I was so skinny, first of all, I didn’t know it, so I couldn’t enjoy it. When people told me I was beautiful, I would worry about my hair or my body, or my clothes. There is no satisfaction! You might think there is, but there isn’t. I was a nervous wreck and I was always nervous and unhappy. Please, if you care about yourself, if you care at all, look at yourself in the mirror, and see the real picture!
May 24th, 2007 at 8:32 am
hya! im doing a art project on eating disorders. im 15 and weigh 6 1/2 stone n im 5″ i h8 it but ive got a problem were i cant put on weigh ive been bullied all my life for being thin. all u girls im sure your gorjus any way people dont wanna love u if your not realy u. wb lts of lv g xx
May 28th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
I think I’ve been struggling with an ED now for about a year, though I didn’t really realize it til about two or three months ago. Before it all started, i was 5’0” and weighed 113. Before I knew it, however, thanx to my “diet”, I managed to drop to about 92 in two months. But alas my pride with having done this was not meant to last, and when the holidays came, I broke down and began to binge, and am now a bulimic anorexic. It’s absolutely maddening, the vicious cycle: eating little to nothing for a few days and then binging, to exercising for three hours in one day and then fasting. I actually envy other people who can sit and eat even a sandwich, without their weight on their mind constantly. It doesn’t stop; I cannot bear to look at my hideous self in the mirror, without pointing out all the areas with, what in my mind, is “excess fat”. I now weigh about 104/105, and feel absolutely horrid. I am utterly TERRIFIED of the thought of being back at 113–I-I just can’t stand it. To make things worse, I also suffer from severe MDD (Major Depressive Disorder), and am currently enduring an episode that has lasted now for almost five months. It is the worst pain one could imagine, and most who’ve never experienced it can’t. I’ve attempted suicide three times now, unsuccessfully, obviously, and have recently taken on cutting as a distraction from the mental agony(despite my INTENSE fear of knives). Saddest thing is, I see no future for myself; and I guarantee I will have successfully killed myself by 19…and I can’t wait for that day.
sorry for the length of this reply
May 30th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Someone at work once said that they’d stopped drinking tea with milk because they were trying to be healthy. I didn’t think anything of it at the time but now I even feel guilty about drinking TEA, it has about 30 calories for godsake. I remember everything that anyone says about calories or fat. I worry all day about what I’m going to eat, and how to get myself away from situations where crap food will be available. I almost went full-swing into bulimia, but I just got so disgusted with myself. It’s stopped and I’m not doing that again. I like my teeth too much. Every time I give in and have a chocolate bar, I top up my tan at the salon. Try that girls, it works, and it boosts the old esteem so you don’t eat all night, or wish you were eating. Pfff, it’s the exam stress and my mum is an awful woman. I’ll go eat lettuce with that low-fat thousand island sauce soon, yum. Seriously though, I’m such a fat anorexic.
June 3rd, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Chubby girls are cute 😛 I don’t know where anyone ever got the idea that being skinny was attractive. I think that anorexia has become some what of a fad in todays society, and that girls are becoming brattier and dumber. Any one who can feel sorry for themself because they choose not to eat is imature. I think I’m imature when I look at some of the things I do, but girls today really take the cake. It’s a damn shame.
June 6th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
i’m 5’4″. about 100 lbs. my mom keeps asking if i’m anorexic. but i’m not. i wish i could be. i can skip breakfast. and lunch usually. but thats as far as i can go. :[ so a tad more recently i switched to throwing up. but. the only way i can do it in secrecy. is in the shower. ((once a day)) i wish i could do more. some days. i way 95 lbs. but others. i’m around 108. i hate it. i just wanna be thin. and yes. i know. i am what some would call “skinny”. but, i hate the way a feel. i wanna be able to lean over. and never have any rolls. of any kind. and i love the feel of an empty stomach. its a kind of satisfying pain.
oi vey.
June 7th, 2007 at 7:40 am
to all the girls who say that they want to eat but cant, or that they like the feel of an empty stomach…listen to me. im 16 and i come in at a wopping 93lbs. im a LaCrosse player, a hockey player and im the youngest of four kids and the one wqho gets ignored and the onw who everyone depends on. its hard to battle between being needed constatly by my family and being ignored by them. trust me i wish so badly that i could eat like therews no tomorow, because some day if i dont change there wont be a tomorow. and as much as that scares me i know that i hate the way my mind works, its a neverending conflict between good and evil. its very streesing and very tirering. i wish that i could wake up in the mornings and be 120 lbs. and be healthier. but some days i wish i didnt wake up at all. this cant go on any longer, things have to change…and fast! none of my friends or family really truely understands what im going through they think that im just being stupid not eating. they try to force me to eat, but im too stubborn to eat, and i dont want to cuz im affraid that ill end up goingv from small to overly large. and my mom used to be so hard on me for eating carrots, she doesnt like it when peopel are heavier she thinks that they are ‘fat’ because they are stupid, but then she calls me stupid for not eating, she doesnt have a happy medium that everyone can relate too. its too hard to satisfy her and my self at the same time. i wish i was able to tell her to stop and shed not say anything about other peoples weight anymore but its not going to happen, i tell her to stop and she tells me that im being rude. even though shes being rediculous about other peoples weight…ironic thing is…shes not the smallest thing in the world, but now that she runs and is loseing weight she thinks other people should automaticly do the same thing as her! i hate her for it, but i lvoe her becasue shes my mom. i dont knwo what i can do!
June 11th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Reading some of the responses on here, I’m getting kind of pissed. The weights I see are below underweight and yet so many complaints about them! I am 5’5 and 125 pounds, I want to become 117 or at least 120 just because, and I don’t see that as an unrealistic goal. Those are healthy weights, and they are still more ‘thin’ than ‘fat’. Not even, because they are in the healthy weight range. I have been stupid and made myself puke once, but I could never be anorexic since people watch what I eat 24/7. It’s just that I never did eat a lot, even as a kid, and so I’m fed a lot now. I eat healthy though. So I want to lose a FEW pounds and be healthier. I don’t see my problem, just that I get influenced by the ‘ana’ and ‘mia’ I see a lot, but now I think the whole thing was just one of my phases. This comment helped me move out of that phase, thanks A BUNCH to the site owner.
Like I was saying. I was almost cracking, but then I found strength. Light. I don’t know where it came from. I might be dramatizing it a bit, but I feel good now. From now, I’m going to focus on my grades, my family, and being a good person. We should thank God everytime we see food, because we are lucky enought to have it. Those people that look like starving orphans who can’t get a sip of water and CAN get all the food that THEY want are just a shame. I might be judging too quick, but it’s true.
This was a really weird comment to me…but right now I think I’m going to apologize to someone that I have been meaning to say sorry to and do my homework. See ya 😉
June 15th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
I agree with Bee about be greatful for what we have. I have never had an eating disorder and I hope no one thinks I’m judging those who do but, I want to express my feelings on the topic. People who starve their bodies of what they need commit a crime against themselves. Our body is our tool to communicating and being with the people we love and being on earth. Without it we aren’t able to be here on this plane of existances, and since I have no idea if we exist without I’m ganna treat mine right! It’s my only body and it’s a gift. Life is precious. If I want to lose a few pounds(which I do), I won’t stop eating, diet, or excessivly exercise. I’ll eat healthy foods that give me energy, vitamins and minerals and exercise a few days a week. Thin is’t beautiful. I think bodies where the rib cages can be seen are uglier than someone whose got lots of jelly rolls(actualy extra weight can look flattering it’s just not healthy). Anyway good-luck to those of you who are struggling with eating disorders and please even if you don’t want to think about what your doing to your body and how your hurting yourself. Try and get some help if you can. You don’t have to be hungry to be thin. And thin isn’t beautiful anyway. Internal beauty is also far more important, people don’t like people by how fat or thin they are. And if they do that person is an air head and a Jerk and you shouldn’t talk to them! Sorry for rambling!
June 18th, 2007 at 2:42 am
Thin isn’t beautiful. We all want to change something about ourselves, but life is what you make it, You, and only you have the power to make yourselves whatever you want to be, but it’s ridiculous that you beautiful girls think that being 118 pounds and 5′ 7″ is overweight. listen, i’m 4′ 11″ and 125, and am i fat? no, i’m just the right weight. all i want to do is be toned up and eat healthier, and that’s basically all you need to do. Don’t let others bring you down, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, and parents aren’t always the best judge of things, in the end, you have a choice, ignore the assholes and make yourself happy and healthy, or ruin your life and your body and let others bring you down. I hope this helped, eating disorders are an epidemic, everything in magazines is airbrushed and photoshopped, all models are sticks with feelings, and tv is not realistic, everyday people come in all shapes and sizes. <3
June 22nd, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Im 5″7 and 147lbs right and im an english size 10 us size 4 am i classed as fat??? I wouldnt dream of letting my weight fall to 118lbs. Come on girlies it may be hard but if men found fat unnatractive then why do mega obese females have partners?
June 22nd, 2007 at 9:46 pm
I see the points of everyone on here, i’ve felt them at some time or another. I’ve feared for my sister because she can have occasional Anorexic tendancies. I fear that im fat and have anorexic tendancies myself! But i also used to feel sorry for people with Eatting Disorders and i never used to understand how they could have such a distorted point of veiw. But now, since i have a habbit of becoming incredibly delusional, its not uncommon to slip into a mood where i am about to quit eatting all-together because i feel like the fattest, ugliest slob in the world. I mean hey, my sisters a bikini model, its not that hard to feel like some unfortunate retarded girl next to her grace. I’m in a flunk at the moment. I’m paranoid about what i eat, im scared of gaining weight, but i still eat out of hunger. So far its 4:40PM and i’ve only eatten 300 calories and i only ate because i felt like i was about to pass out. I’m actually pleased if i don’t eat, which sounds crazy to a lot of people. But its difficult to feel pretty in a world that is obsessed with perfection. Damn it people! have you never heard that you cant be perfect? Not in everybodies sense anyway. It is our flaws that make us great. The Persians believe that no one can be perfect, because the only thing that is perfect is God. Persian Rugs are the most beautiful in the world and every single one has a “Persian Flaw”. Flaws are what make us different. Maybe its about time we embraced our flaws. shrug anyway 🙂 I hope you all are happy, despite your weight, eatting habbit and self disgust.
Don’t forget to smile and keep on keeping on 🙂
S.D.
July 5th, 2007 at 11:05 am
A lot of you contradict yourselves.
July 5th, 2007 at 11:14 am
It is really sad to hear all of you talking about eating disorders. Some of you have the right idea about them, that they are not to be envied, but the ones of you who want the attention and wish for the problem might sooner or later find it and realize that it is not all fun and games. I have been anorexic since I was in 5th grade. I am 17. I am 5,6. I weigh 103 pounds. I weighed 96 at Christmas and had to go to the doctor. People tell me I look like a prisoner of war, but I feel fat. Anoretics don’t believe people. We believe in nothing except for scales and mirrors and the scales tell us that we are severely underweight, but the mirror says we are not. I would go back to weighing 162 pounnds and lose it the right way if I could, but I can’t. I’m stuck with it. Stuck with this habit. Don’t wish for it. Don’t want it. It’s gross.
Jess
July 14th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Anorexia has consumed me. It’s eaten my soul, stolen my friends, my life, my everything. But somehow, I like it that way.
July 16th, 2007 at 10:46 am
I agree with “Anorexic.” I’m bulimic with anorexic tendencies. I’ve been this way for so long, I’m not even really sure when it started.
Nothing anyone ever says will be good enough. I don’t believe I’ll ever love myself enough to try to stop this, and even if I did want to stop, I don’t think I’d have the strength.
I’ve been fat (not obese, but still overweight) and I’ve dealt with an eating disorder.
Guess which is harder. Guess which will kill you faster.
Eating disorders, no matter what you may think, are worse than you could ever imagine.
<33
July 25th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I’m a 5’8″ 180 lbs. college sophomore. And I’m not ashamed to say it. Granted, I’m technically classified as overweight, to me it’s not about the numbers. I’m not trying to lose weight – I’m trying to get into shape. I want to be able run a mile in eight minutes like I used to, and if that means losing weight, that’s fine, but if it means gaining weight by gaining muscle, I’m fine with that, too.
To me, it’s not about the numbers. 180 vs. 145 – neither of those are beautiful. They’re just numbers. What is beautiful is when I feel comfortable with my body, unafraid to throw on my tankini at the pool or the strapless dress for my best friend’s wedding. To me, beautiful is found in confidence. We aren’t made perfect – we’ll always be flawed. But as long as I accept it and try to live each day better than the next, I’m fine with that.
Plus, every body is different. I have what my mom likes to call “thunder thighs.” She has them, too, as does my grandma, and my great-grandma, and my great-great-grandma. And I’m not ashamed of them. Because when I look at my thighs and think about complaining, I think about my grandma and how much I love her and how she’s the best and greatest person in my life. I accept that I won’t have Heidi Klum’s eyes, but she’ll never have my deep chocolate brown eyes or my boobs.
No matter how thin/fat/stupid/intelligent you are, without confidence and belief in who you are, you’re nothing.
<3
July 29th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
eating disorders do not fix anything. you may be thin, but you can’t see it and you can’t be happy. your happiness depends upon the number on the scale, which will never be low enough. You may be beautiful in someone else’s eyes, but in your own, with an eating disorder, you never will be. I’ve suffered from binge-eating, anorexia, and exercise bulimia, and I’m only fifteen. Before all this started, I had the most amazing relationship with God, but with all my issues thinness became more important to me than my spirituality, and even after I started eating normally I still haven’t felt close to him for more than a couple days. I think I’m becoming anorexic again, but I still realise that NOTHING is worth the price I’ve paid for something as shallow as thinness. I can’t believe how stupid I am and I think I’ve fallen from grace. I’ve come to realise that it’s better to be a little bit fat and happy, than thin and miserable and practically suicidal. I can’t understand why anybody would want to have an eating disorder, and those stupid girls who run around on the internet looking for “thinspo” and saying things like “ana love!” make me want to kill myself. It’s too late for me, I think I will struggle with these issues for the rest of my life. But those of you saying things like “I’m not anorexic but I wish I was,” please, I beg you to stop. Please just choose to be happy, choose not to destroy every relationship in your life because they are more important than the number on the scale, and if you fall into the trap of an eating disorder, you will no longer realise that.
August 1st, 2007 at 5:31 am
I1m 5’6 and 112 pounds. does that sound large to everyone?
August 13th, 2007 at 9:28 am
im five foot 6 and weigh 60 kgs –> 125 – 130 lbs? i used to weigh 52 kgs not that long ago but i have BALLOOOONED and i dont know how to fix it. im jealous of all you who say that people assure you you are skinny. that never happens to me
granted im pritty shit at sticking to my diet so i guess i deserve what i get – does anyone have some master plan to help me stick to my diet – i can last only 3 days on <400 cals and then i usually cave
help – i just want to get my weight under control and then everything else will be easier
August 13th, 2007 at 9:28 am
and no jaz – 112 lbs sounds nice
September 6th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
I must admit I am very pissed off at the majority of the people commenting here. Most of the girls commenting on how they are “fat” are underweight. I’m 5’4″ and 150 lbs, and i look fine. I have nice full breasts and strong thighs, I don’t look like a stick figure like most of these girls must (100…92 lbs! people must be afraid of breaking you!) Women are supposed to have curves, hips and breasts and, yes, a stomache…it’s what’s makes you a woman…
You must realize that if you are comfortable in your own body, people see you differently…your confidence and inner beauty shows to other people.
My tips for you: You shouldn’t eat less, you should exercise more…you’ll looked toned and healthy (don’t over exercise to make up for eating though, thats just as bad). You’ll probably gain some weight, but look better (remember, muscle weighs more than fat, i look 20 pounds less than i weigh because a lot of it is nice toned muscle, not just fat)
Gain some self confidence in yourself and you’ll see that you can be, and are, beautiful at whatever weight you are and don’t need to starve yourselves and kill yourselves trying to be “skinny” (even the word is deplorable, makes you think of a blob of skin with no substance…:P)
September 9th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I am a woman of 33yrs now. Scarey to be so old and respond to such posts. I have a different perspective than many. I am not only a wife, a mother but also an anorexic with bulimic tendencies. I have lived the past 3yrs in and out of hospitals and lost a lot of special connection with my 3 children. I feel very lost because wholeheartedly I LOVE my family. On the other hand, I NEVER want to be fat and gaining weight has literally made me feel like Im dying. Don’t envy those of us who are suffering, we don’t ask for it – we sort of just are ‘picked’ Unfortuantely it is found to be hereditery – so now I fear my boys having an ED as well. Am I recovered? No, I dont think it is possible. I have managed to stay off laxatives but my weight flucuates and I go from eating nothin to binging and purging many times a day. Life with an ED is not a fantasy – it is a nightmare.
October 30th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
My names amy, im 14. i’ve got an incredable boyfriend, great mates, not the worst family in the world but..im just not happy.
i’ve been drifting in and out of anorexia and.. i really hate my figure! its just..disgusting.
my friends say im abnormally skinny as it is but.. i hate it and tell them i fat but they don’t see it!
right now i’m forcing myself into an exercise regime nd not eating all day, until mum makes me have dinner!
i got out of it today saying i ate loads already! but..i hate myself, i had 3 squares of my mates choc after school, was a big bar of galaxy and..:(
my dad says there’s more meat on a butchers pencil i laugh and smile but den just run upstairs and do sit ups.
i don’t reallly know why i’ve typed all this but needed to get it out of my system. If i tell my boyfriend he’l get realy anoyed nd might dump me..:(
although whenever i say anything about my weight he gets angry. then i get angry and think im fatter!! (which I AM!!!)
i’m 5.4″ and i weight..eww its digusting i know.. 7 stone 3 pounds. couple of weeks ago i was 7.5!!
as a lil kid i was chubby and in secondry school too, but when i moved school couple of years ago i slimmed up more i’ll admit. I’m still fat and ugly though!
if u have any tips to help me throw up or something it’d be good please, i haven’t yet been able to have the courage to do it and just end up choking in tears on the floor.
Also how to avoid eating, excuses, hidding food.. ANYTHING!!!
sorry dis comment been really long and stuff but, 1) needed to get it out of my system 2) help me be skinny!!! want to be
FIT NOT FAT!!!
October 31st, 2007 at 6:52 am
Amy,
I urge you to get help. I doesn’t sound like you want to stop abusing your body, but if you keep going the way you are, you’ll kill yourself.
If this is anything like my problem, you probably feel like you don’t have control over it. You should probably have your parents take you to a doctor that specializes in this.
Just think, when you’re healthy, you’ll be able to eat AND know that you look beautiful and thin. No more guilt for every bite.
Seriously, talk to your parents and look for a cure, not tips on how to hide your disorder from them.
Best Wishes, Laura Moncur
November 1st, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I’m 5’7″ and I’m 175 lbs. I have a condition where my bones are thicker or denser or whatever you want to say, than they’re suppose to be. so in all reality, I’d be about the same size as a 150lbs girl. I was bulimic. I was down to 135 lbs. I was a walking skeleton. Everyone said i looked horrible then. The thing was I felt beautiful then. And even now, a few “recovery” hospital trips later, I look at the images of my skin on bones days, and wish I was like that again. Because at least then, I wouldn’t feel like the fattest one in our group and then, I wouldn’t be so concerned about what i ate, because it’d come back up later. I miss it.
November 7th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
i first sought out to try and find some sort of comfort in all this turmoil i feel inside of me..there have been so many times where i hid my feelings of being fat and really tried to run from everything i could. Recently i have been eating everything in sight…im utterly depressed because of my weight..i cant go to school, i just want to sleep and stay there all day so i have no way of coming in contact with food. im 5’3 and 140 lbs, it’s absolutely ridiculous how large i feel, when in reality im sure im just chubby. I once lost a little weight unintentionally, from the pressures of school and other commitments and my bf said he liked it better when i lost weight….and to be honest ive been severely depressed ever since. It breaks my heart to think that someone likes me better when my weight is lost, a lot of my body is muscle from the sports i play, but i dont think anything can describe the heartbreak they feel when they are utterly and truly unhappy with how they are and how they look. Im crying at the thought of it, i am disgusting, and i too need to get rid of these feelings and go on the road to losing weight, getting more fit and feeling better about myself.
November 12th, 2007 at 2:21 am
I have an eating disorder and it’s weird.. I have my ups and lows but it takes the smallest thing to set me off..the weird thing is..im actually fat & still suffer.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
I have a mix of anorexic and bulimic tendencies, aka EDNOS. I am about 5’10 and currently weigh 155 pounds (size 6). I was down to about 140ish (size 4) pounds eariler in the year. My body is “lean and muscular” or so people say. All I see is layers of fat. My goal is 110 pounds…soon.
November 14th, 2007 at 7:37 am
IMy mother suffered from Belimia & i have suffered with both ends of the scale through my life. One thing i can tell you is while you are either starving yourself or stuffing yourself before getting rid of it- the truth is you can not function properly & rationally. You think you can. This adds to the picture you see of your self & makes it more distorted than usual. I see myself worse when i haven’t eaten or got rid of my food – i see myself bigger & uglier, infact i feel repulsed! You can get better as now even though i have these feelings i can keep then in order & don’t feel like death needs to be the end of it anymore. I hope that i can be of some help to others who are suffering as i have been there & i’m not just telling you how it is….it doesn’t need to be this way & it can change for you & for the better! I can honestly say i am happier now & feel healthier & i actually enjoy life. Its not a bed of roses as everyone will have an off day but because you start to feel better you have more to look forward to. Many thing help to trigger eating disorders & everyone is different so we deal with things differently. Starving yourself or getting rid of the food is a way of feeling a slight release from the pain you feel deep down – thats why i did it – but it doesn’t do it long term, its only till the next feed. There are ways of dealing with this without the need of this & having a longer term release. We all have the same amount of right to be on this planet & to have fun. Unfortunatley you don’t always know that until long term damage has been done – don’t wait for that. You need to get to like yourself 1st as to what YOU like & dis-like, not what society tells us we should. This is a 1st step to getting back on your feet & it is reversible! I promise you! x
November 27th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
ok so i think all of you girls sound really really skinny.
i wont tell you my age but i recently became a teenager.
I am 5″3 and about 90 pounds.
I do NOT feel skinny reading your posts. considering most of you are 2 to 3 years older than me.
you guys should NOT be posting about how fat you are… and its because that im sure alot of young girls go searching for pro ana sites. just think about it.. if they found this read your guyses posts they would probably go anorexic just reading how skinny you guys are!!! that is NOT good!
sometimes i feel not in the best shape, BUT i never doubt the fact that my body is fine.. i will admit that i have TRYED to make myself throw up. it was so terrible and i will NEVER do it again i hope. so please. i know that what you guys have is a disease.. and that its practically impossible to get better.. but for the other young girls out there.. we should be careful what we say!!
good luck to all of you.
November 28th, 2007 at 12:01 am
In 5th grade at age 11 I was a healthy 90 at just under 5 feet tall, in 7th grade at nearly 13 I weighed in at 124Lbs at nearly 5’2″. Now I’m 16, 5’4″, and 93Lbs… lately has been hell for me.
in comparison that may not seem like drastic weight change to many of you but for me it’s SCARY AS HELL because I DON’T want to be unhealthy anymore.
The end of 7th grade was when i first developed my anorexia, it was an uphill battle for the next 2 years, with my lowest (recorded) weight being down to 68Lbs, at which point I was hospitalized with iv’s in my wrists to make sure I wouldn’t DIE.
my 9th and 10th grade years of high school went a little shakey, i still kept my weight low at 107… pushing it, by not scary skinny anymore. but recently i’ve been ‘removed’ from my mother’s home and my whole world is upside down, and my escape was to turn back to not eating… IT SUCKS.
all girls who have eating disorders will realize that it’s NOT fun. i denied my illness up until the point i was in a HOSPITAL and still denying i had anything wrong with me when CLEARLYI i did. the part i hate most now is that i’m slipping again, it’s a sickening, hurtful, screwed, never-ending cycle that once you get into you CAN’T STOP. although you try to tell yourself you can,
YOU DON’T CONTROL IT!!!!!!!!
it, controls YOU. and i fucking hate it, to girls that “want to be anorexic”
WAKE THE FUCK UP! it’s not some game, it ruined my life. i’m really sick. and i HATE every second of it.
you girls really need to take care of yourselves as well as you can, GET HELP. BEFORE you wind up strapped to a bed with iv’s in your wrists and cuts in your chests so tubes can feed you.
it is not worth it, no matter how much weight you lose… you never really feel whole or content, you’ll always find something else wrong with yourself.
:/
January 30th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Reading all of this makes me hungry.
I spent the majority of last year obsessing over food and weight. I got down to 113 and I am 5’7″. Even weighing that, I felt huge. I hated the way every piece of clothing fit and looked. I hated how fat my face, arms, legs, and stomach were. I was constantly lying to the people I love about what I had eaten that day and constantly searching for things to do that would give me an excuse to avoid eating. Still, with all of this crazy neurotic behavior, I did not think I had a problem. I ended up seeing a psychologist and meeting with a nutritionist at an ED clinic. Most of all, this helped me realize that my behavior was irrational and that I did actually have a problem.
Today, not a day goes by that I look in the mirror and see anything that I like. I still look at my body with disgust and obsess over the fact that I cannot commit to not eating anymore. However, I have to remember that I will never be perfect and not eating will not get me any closer. I will no longer let food control my life and happiness.
I strongly urge anyone who feels as if they might have a problem with food to find someone to talk to. And if and when you do go, I wish you the best of luck.
March 5th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Hey,You girls need to be satisfied the way god made you.He loves you, and wants to protect you.I am 14 and weigh 160 lbs.I’m not fat i’m muscular,my point is ,please don’t starve yourselves. If you accept god into your life he will change you .I’f you would just ask him for forgiveness,and ask him to give you a new heart.I am praying for you girls.God Bless
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:53 am
yo, anorexic chicks freak me out… like alot thats not even remotely pretty, im 16 5’11 120lbs and i can gurantee that not a soul i know believes that girls THAT skinny are hot.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I’m 4’11 (yeah, I’m short) and I weigh about 90 pounds. I feel fat at times because my friends at 40 to 80 pounds, and they make fun of the people my weight. I don’t want to be anorexic, though. I’m just trying to drop about five pounds. Then I’ll be happy. 🙂
I wish the best luck to anorexic people.
August 22nd, 2008 at 5:47 pm
My friends all make jokes about me being anorexic/bulimic because i’m 5’11 and 103 pounds. i dont find it funny at all. What can i say though? If i go crazy and tell them to shutup about things they have no idea about they’ll know it’s not really a joke. PLease don’t ever say you WANT to be anorexic/buliimc, do not idolize people that are. although i don’t think I’ll ever be strong enough to want to change myself, i wish i’d never started. Please be happy how your are. Please don’t wish for a life where you find happiness from teh cold empty feeling in your stomach every day. I love that feeling, but i wish i didn’t.
To all those out there who are struggeling and read this i have no idea what to say to help you, because i can’t think of anything any one could say that would help me. Just know that you are beautiful and amazing and you don’t need to do what you do.
November 10th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Everyone on here is completely crazy.
Is society really that vain to care how fat a girls arms are or when the last time a boy worked out? I’m ashamed to be part of this culture if this is what it has come to. Don’t be so selfish. Maybe if you all get over yourselves and focus on something useful, the world would be a better place.
I know what you’re going through. I was severely anorexic and lost my period for 11 months. But I figured out that it wasn’t doing anybody any good, certaintly not me. Thank god I’m over and I can make something out of my life – make my mark on the world.
And if you want to stop eating disorders and self esteem issues, stop judging other people.
December 22nd, 2008 at 6:58 am
im 70 kilos and average height, but all my friends are around 50 kilos, i cant go to friends pools because i dont want anyone to see me, i go to the beach with one friend only, my friend is a model, all my mates are beautiful and absolutly skinny, i was bulemic for one year, i only lost 10 kilos though. My mum brought a cafe about a year ago, our house is joined onto it so theres always food in my face, its so hard!!! i feel so fat all the time, my friends call me fat and that i shouldnt eat all of my food. I only drink water and latly have only been eating salads, my cousins call me fat and my guy mates say im huge and that all the other girls are skinnier then me. Ive been having a reallly hard time latly with everythign and i need some tips on how to stop eating! i try, but its so hard when youve got food constintly beign stuffed in your face… im not fat, im just chubby, not the weight i want to be. I used to be so skinny, i dont know how i got to this size……. help me be skinnnny!
December 29th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
I’m a male I’m a dancer I think I’m fat but scared to loss to much weight , I way 100 how can I lose weight safely
January 7th, 2009 at 5:14 am
i wish you could all see sence and believe that you are all beautiful people.. anorexia is not nice, ive been borderline but ive come through it.. im sure all you can with the right help. x
January 7th, 2009 at 5:18 am
January 17th, 2009 at 1:05 am
Alright. So there are a lot of people here dealing with an eating disorder, dealing with thoughts of maybe wanting one, and those who are urging these individuals to seek help.
It’s not that simple. Seeing how Anorexia lingers around myself, trying to take control of me, let me try and put it into a decent perspective.
(Unfortunately, I cannot put Bulimia into perspective, as I haven’t really had to deal with that myself, but I’d imagine it’s similar.)
Imagine for a moment someone you are really, really close to. It could be a family member, or a best friend. Now they’re in a car with you. You’re just having a good time, and the person says they’ll be right back. They step out, and almost get hit by an oncoming vehicle. They swoop back in, and you hug them tightly. You cling on to them for dear life.
Now, give that person the name of Anorexia Nervosa, or Bulimia Nervosa. That is essentially what an eating disorder is like, in the simplest of terms.
You hold on to it because you are afraid of letting it go.
I to, having anorexic tendencies, have to be careful not to let this happen. It has in the past, and it is the most wretched thing to deal with. You restrict. You exercise. And when you’re not doing anything to occupy your mind with either of these, you’re crying. It is absolutely horrendous that anyone would like to experience this.
I mean, that’s how it happened to me. A simple little wish. That happened over a year ago. Most days now, I’m fine. But there are many times where I just want to have those thoughts again, for some bizarre reason. Perhaps because it’s easier to just think “Oh I’m only going to have two crackers and maybe a quarter glass of juice today.” Instead of the many other stressful thoughts like “Oh, I really need to be working on this, or doing this. And I’ll probably see no results again from handing out my resume; from working so hard on this paper, etc., etc.”
It’s really more like a self-induced disability. I still struggle with thoughts of what I eat today, even though I do eat. A lot more than I did, but it’s still under 1,000 calories most days.
And it’s a ridiculous battle. One part of your brain is saying, “You’re thin. You’re too thin. You should stop and eat.” And the other side is saying “Ugh, like whatever. Don’t listen to that bull. Like seriously, lose one more pound. That’s it. Everything will be better if you can reach the double digits. Then you’ll be fine, and you’ll be free.”
And for whatever reason, the anorexic voice I imagine sounds like a valley girl. XD
It’s also very misleading, as it never does entirely leave.
But you can work to listen to the side of you that tells you eating a bit more would be a bit better for your health.
I’m trying. 🙂 Let’s try together. 🙂 If you can’t do it, at least you can’t say you didn’t try. 😀
February 17th, 2009 at 9:45 am
It makes me really sad to realise just how many people are suffering with eating disorders. I don’t know why people are wishing to have them. They ruin lives and destroy relationships. I am living proof of that. I’m 18 years old and I have had an eating disorder for as long as I can remember. I finally became full blown bulimic when I was 16 at 5’6 weighing 92 pounds. I was hospitalised and forced into therapy. Trust me. Therapy WILL NEVER WORK unless the person REALLY wants to change. I lied my way out of therapy and know I will never be free. I practically destroyed my relationship with my best friend alex (who is also bulimic) and I know I have influenced two of my three sisters to be anorexic/bulimic. All of you who are stupid enough to want an eating disorder go fuck yourself. Seriously you’re just being retarded. I’m now 97 pounds still bulimic and hate my very existance. I miss feeling beautiful and alive. Bulimia has ruined my life, try not to let it ruin yours too.
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
I’m almost 15. I’m 5’4 and 115 pounds and I think I am terribly huge. I have a 30-ish chest, waist, and hip. (I have no bewbs.) Um… Opinions? Some people say I’m “average” and some say I’m “really skinny” and I get confused. When I think of average I think like….chubby.
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:10 am
I am 13 and im 5’4 and i weigh 89 pounds. I am anorexic and it really sucks. I have been battleing this for a while now and I have lost all of my friends, never have enough energy to do anything, and everyone talks about me behind my back. The only thing that is important to me anymore is my scale. I’m just trying to say that if you think being really skinny is beautiful…well its not. just remember that god loves you the way you are and so do your family and friends. Once you start you can never come back the same. So everyone should at least try to be happy with their weight and live life to the fullest because we only have one and we shouldn’t waist it thinking about how fat we think we are or ending up in the hospital for a really long time.
June 7th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
When I was around 11 I got an ED , anorexia. I was around 5.0″ and weighed 122 pounds. I then lost about 15 pounds. At one time I got my weight down to about 102 ish. I maintained my weight at 105 for around a year. Then when I turned 13 I put some weight back on. i weighed 110 ish. I didnt think anything of it , none of my friends said it looked I gained any weight. I then turned 14 , and was going into highschool. I somehow managed to let myself get to 115 pounds. I hated how I looked. I got frustrated and began to binge eat. Now Im 14 , Im 5.4″ and weigh around 118-120 and I think I look disgusting. My friends and family say I look fine. I don’t think soo ! I want to be skinny again , I miss it so soo badly 🙁
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:51 pm
i wish i was thin…unlike a lot of girls on here who struggle with the thinness..if thats a word…i actually am obese…i want to be skinny so bad…when ppl look at me i know what ther thinking ugly,fat,freak….im 5,5 and 168 pounds…thats way to much for some one my age….ppl say im not fat….but i know i am
July 21st, 2009 at 9:29 pm
my best friend is 5’3” and 98 pounds. She eats over five times a day. Junk Food. She sits around the house all day, watching TV, frying her brain cells. No Exercise. She undresses in front of me and I see her ribs, poking out of her skin like a ghost angel without wings. Double Zero. I am nothing. I am everything. I am FAT. I have a stomache that makes me look like I’m pregnant, with five-mile hips. My cheeks are the size of mangos and my hair never stays up in a pony tail right. I am ugly and fat and stupid for caring. I am 132 pounds in the morning after I run one mile. I do one hundred crunches and as many push-ups as I can muster. “My medicine says to wait at least half an hour after taking it, so…” I usually skip breakfast. I eat fruits and vegetables during the day. I don’t eat a single grain of Sugar or one gram of Fat, and still i Am. I Am Fat. By the end of the day, I’m 131. The next morning, I wake up and run and take a shower and weigh myself, and I am 134 again. My best friend says I have the perfect body. My parents say I am starving myself. My soccer team says they wish they were as healthy as I am. My mirror tells the truth. I am never going to be good enough. I am sickuglystupidfatnastyuglyfatstupidfat and it will NEVER change. I am stuck in imperfection and a pointless struggle. I hate me. I Hate Me. I am 5’5” and weigh as much as my neighbor’s Saint Bernard. Periods are the worst. Feeling bloated. Looking as miserable as I feel. I hate me. I hate me I hate me I hate me. I AM FAT AND UGLY.
August 3rd, 2009 at 1:03 pm
im a 6′ 1 male and i weigh 130 and oh how i wish i could drop to 110 0r 100 but all my friends and family is always insulting me on my fragile bone figure yet im never happy with myself, one day i want to be happy and fit and all the next im a disgusting fat slob and the thought of eating is grotesque i dont know what to do, i dont even know if i want to live
August 25th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I’m 18 years old. I consider myself obese. My friends tell me that I’m not fat, But in my head that only means that they don’t want to lie to me. I’m 5′ 11″, and I weigh somewhere around 275. All my friends tell me that I look like I’m around 160 and to me that sounds like FAT. I have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It really sucks. When I look at pictures all I see is fat. No matter what. It really sucks. I’m not anorexic but my brain works the same way. I just don’t have the willpower to not eat. I don’t over eat, I try to eat healthy. I just never loose weight. I’ve never had a Boyfriend, and I blame it on my fatness. In my head sometimes I don’t feel fat, and other times I do. I have no self-confidence. About a year ago stopped hanging around my super-skinny friends, you know the ones who make fun of fat people and complain about being a size 4.
It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. It forced me to hang around with my other friends. I’ve never had this many “non-fat” days in my life.
I’m not cured, but I’m better. I know I’ll probably never be cured, But I can live with myself most days now. And it gives me a chance to really live.
I have hope. I have opportunity.
September 11th, 2009 at 6:09 am
my weight is 92,5 ibs and i’m 5’5. I’m feeling fat, but all my friends keep telling me that i’m too skinny. I eat what I want, wich might be why i’m feeling fat. but I’m not gaining in weight. I know that won’t last forever, so now i’m started working out. I also starting thinking over the calouries in the food i’m eating. I don’t know if i’m anorexic, i guess not. my best friend is really thin, not skinny but thin, and it’s SO beautiful! I wanna be like her, and could look in the mirror and feel beautiful, but I just doesn’t feel beautiful, at all. I can resist eating the whole morning and afternoon, but then I have to eat at night, so I can sleep. (i can’t sleep, when i’m hungry) I don’t know what to do, my friends tells me i’m too skinny, but i’m not! I been sick for a week now, I don’t think it have anything to do, with i’m not eating that much. I’m starting to see my ribs now. I’m glad because now I feel more beautiful, closer to be like my best friend. she’s almost not eating. and i think, if she can, i can.
I just thought that my story also had to go…
September 11th, 2009 at 6:19 am
I forgot to tell you that i’m almost 14.
September 16th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
I agree with all the other people on here saying not to idolize us. We’re liars. We hurt the people closest to us. More than 10% of us will die from health complications caused by eating disorders, not even counting the depression, paranoia, and other mental symptoms that come along with it. Eating disorders and stick thin people aren’t glamorous in the real world. I have been battling anorexia and bulimia for almost 4 years now.
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:23 pm
My weight has always fluxuated. I was thin for a year or 2, then within a year I happily ate and put on some pounds.
But within the last summer I think i’ve developed an eating disorder…. And it is completely hell. I can’t eat and not throw up. I can only find closure with myself when I go days without eating. The depression is terrible. And I’m so… alone. I know i’ve been losing weight lately but its true with ED you never know how you truly look. In my eyes I still look the same as I did at 165.. And I’m almost down to 120.
Please God… Or Someone…. Help me
September 28th, 2009 at 5:40 am
you are right, i’m alone too, and you never know how you truly look!after being sick for a MONTH now, I learned something. I was sick bacause of anorexia. (I only know that i had anorexia, bacause i got to the hospital, and the doctors could see that I was unhealthy skinny. Now I go to a psychologist, and have to write food diary!) I knoow it sounds really weird, but it’s actually helping! In the start I cheated with the food diary. but I fainted alot of times, and got to the hospital again(this time, bacause of anorexia) and they gave me a warning, (they found out about my cheating) If I didn’t ate healthy, I would die. I don’t wanna die, so now i’m on a pretty good diet. But somedays, I fell ugly-fat and others ugly-skinny! it’s really anoying.
but jackie! I really think you should tell somebody about your problems! (i didn’t and I almost died) It dosen’t have to be you parents. just a good friend, you really trust! tell her everything! I’m 100% sure on that she will help you, and she will make sure you eat. but of course, you have to tell your parents about your eating disorter at some day.
October 14th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
you shouldnt worry to much i know i am only in 7th grade and i would rather have any other body i am “4,5” and 106 pounds i am in 7th grade so i still feel fat i would love to be as skinny as the other girls but i know what they go through they dont eat there all unfit they cant run ( in my opionon but i can keep up with jocks) and they constantly fuss over there weight but when i see the doing there makeup and complaining about their weight i am not jelouse because they seam so unhappy and i know that i would hate to be that thin and as a young girl in a middle to upper class town you see thin girls everywhere and on tv and in magizens but if you really look at them do you think they are really happy i can kinda read face they dont look happy they look misriable my friends call me crazy but a good kind of crazy because i am happy and peppy and i gess what i am trying to say is the body you have is bueatiful it the way god or whoever ment it to be and you shouldn’t give into peer presure i know what its like but you are truly bueatiful no matter what size instead of looking at the bad qualitys you should look at your good qualitys because if you look deep enough you will find that you are a wonderful and truly bueatiful person beacause in gods or my eyes we are all buetiful you just have to look deep enough i hope i have opened your eyes
October 30th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
God. GOD. WHAT exactly are we all doing here? Trying to get help or trying to get even sicker??? I was shocked to find myself cinically laughing at all those here that say they’re happy with their size and that they don’t feel fat, because their weight just made me want to vomit. 5′4″ and 150 lbs??? Yuck. Screw breasts and hips and stuff. It’s just yuck. And to those who “WANT” to be anorexic- you’re stupid. There are easier and faster ways to kill yourselves. And if you’re stupid enough to WANT to be anorexic, might as well go kill yourselves immediately. Cause wanting to become anorexic is just retarded. Do you want a cancer as well perhaps? Cause you know, anorexia is a sickness. Nasty one. So grab a sandwich if you’re still capable to. If you’re not, congratulations, you don’t have to WANT to be anorexic any more, you’re already there… I’m anorexic/bulimic (depending on the stage), and I’ve been that way for last 6 years. My weight goes between 99 to 127 lbs, and I’m 5’7″… Im getting bored with it, so I try eating normal…. But as soon I’m above 115 I’m back to hell on express line. It’s irritating and annoying. The sickest part- I don’t even TRY to help myself. I just don’t care. And then I end up on sites like this, and I don’t even know why. Guess I still want to be skinny. But also I don’t really give a fuck any more. It just became a very sick habit. I just ate a pizza planning to throw it up, but as I placed myself in bed with laptop, I’m too lazy to get up and do it. See where it gets you? I WANT to puke, but the bathroom’s soooo far away… Guess I just won’t eat for next few days. Anorexia and bulimia just turn us in shallow, stupid idiots. Honestly, does ANY of us here have a brain, or is that the first thing we loose with our weightloss???
January 17th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
I see it has been a long time since the last post, but I just came across this. I am 20. 110 lbs and 5’8″. I am bulimic, and anorexic.
I don’t remember exactly what age I was when I started thorwing up. I think 11 or 12. Starving myself is just a way to help cancel out the calories gained from binging, and I can at times go weeks only eating 500 or less calories a day. Then I start binging all over again.This has been going on for years. For awhile in Highschool I had made friends who were also normal to skinny sized, but who all hated themselves. This only gave me support to continue. We all wanted to be THIN and be able to walk on air.
When my parents found out, my father could not take it. He kicked me out to move to another city and live with my mother in the middle of my senior year. They thought i got better. I was lying to them. I would drive to a fast food restaurant, buy 3 or 4 meals, eat them all, and then throw up in the restroom. Away from home, and prying eyes. Or I would buy food, eat it, throw it up, and discard the evidence before they got home.
When I graduated I moved in with my long term boyfried, with whom I had already been seeing for 3 1/2 years. Just before 5 years we had gotten engaged. We were very social, and heppy. Everyone thought we were perfect. But over time he began to notice my habits. I would eat A LOT, then run to go take a bath, and with the water running, throw up. Or because We lived near a forrest, after dinner, while he and his friends played video games, I would go for a walk, and throw up into some bushes.
He asked me if I had really though he wouldn’t notice. He threatened to tell my parents, and i begged him not to. He tried to help, but I didn’t want to change, I only throught I did. We split up, I weighed 108. When we started to try again I weighed 102. I lied and said I didn’t binge and purge anymore. But that I simply stopped eating when I felt I would get too full. He would cook dinner and I would make a call afterwards, ask him to excuse me, step outside, and throw up into the bushes again. 1 ounce of food that wasn’t plain outmeal or fruit was too much. Things did not work out with us.
I have moved away and am now seeing someone new. He is wonderful, but I still have my ED. I told him about my past, but lied and said I have stopped. I think he is begining to realize though. He eats A LOT of bad food, and thus so do I. But as he gains weight. I lose or atleast maintain.
I WANT to stop, but my metabolism is so messed up now if I go a day eating over 600 calories, I gain weight. I can’t be a normal girl anymore. I hate shopping because I only see how fat everything makes me look. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin and sometimes wish I could tear it all off. My skin and teeth are amazingly healthy, but my hair and nails are not. I do try to take in as many vitamins as possble as I am trying to reverse the effects on my body. I feel my heart race and I get dizzy more now than ever. I am trying to kill the bulimia aspect of my ED, and just keep to a restircted diet, high in vitamins.
But I may just continue this way forever. As the previous post stated you “just don’t care” anymore. However, I must disagree on one point. We are not all shallow, stupid, idiots. Many of us are very intelligent, and strive for perfection in every way. But we do morph our perception of ourselves. Perception is reality, you know? And even at 110, and 5’8″. I know I am what society considers skinny, but I am not what my reality considers skinny. And as it is my body to live in, and even though i can admit my perception is skewd. I cannot change what I want to be. I cannot stop this downward spiral. Because I DO NOT want to. because being thin has been my primary focus for the past 8 or so years of my life. I want to live, and try to keep my body as healthy as I can, without putting on weight. I know and understand what this is doing to me and others. This is a form of mental instability. I think most of us can recognize that, but will never admit it. WE KNOW THIS IS WRONG, but for some reason, we cannot bring ourselves to care, and especially not stop.
Do not envy the super skinny bitch, because your envy and the admiration of others only makes us want to stay the way we are. Can’t anyone see that?
March 7th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Okay, All you 110-150 lbs girls on here need to stfu, seriously. You all have NO reaon be freaking out and be like oh, I’m fat, I’m fat, ugh I’m such a fatass. I fucking weigh 190-200 lbs. I’M THE FATASS. And yet, I have NO self respect, so I eat. I eat. I work out and eat healthy and don’t loose a pound. I have been for 4 freaking months and lost NOTHING. I would KILL to be `150 lbs but that will never happen because I’m always going to be fat. ALWAYS. All you girls on here who weight less than 150 lbs need to look at the fuckin gpicture and see that it could be worse so quit complaining. You could be a fatass like me.
May 10th, 2010 at 1:09 am
Please do not idolize us. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa about four years ago, since then I’ve also been diagnosed with severe depression and osteopenia. I’ve been in and out of treatment centers/rehab and have seen numerous therapists. I got better for awhile, but I’ve just started relapsing in the past month. I would not wish this horrible problem on anyone. It ruins lives literally. Love the body you have, I wish I had before I started going downhill.
May 21st, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Only idolize the ones that eat healthy and look healthy. Don’t idolize the others.
and for all the other comments here: you burn FAT by building muscle, if you lose wieght after that you are sick and please, i beg of you see medical help.
I’m 160 and 5’6″ technically you’d think I’m over weight. I don’t blame you, but must of it is muscle, I know it is-I fit in to a medium and in some stores even a small. I’m no twig but I’m not fat so for those looking at numbers look at these. I hope they help you.
May 21st, 2010 at 9:56 pm
When skinny people call themselves fat, that’s implying that those who weigh more are even more fat… If you are anorexic, that’s fine, it’s your choice, just don’t be selfish about it. Someone worked hard to make that food, and honestly starving children in other countries would be disappointed in you. While they’re on the verge of dying, you deny food.
Also, have you honestly seen an anorexic or bulimic person with curves? And no I don’t mean the creepy/scary bones sticking out, but actual hips and boobs. If you just eat right and exercise, you’ll stay a good weight, and you’ll look even sexier. Would you rather be a pole or an hourglass?
May 21st, 2010 at 10:02 pm
By the way, I’m a healthy weight. And if you want to know what healthy is, check your BMI.
Anyway, I’ve been told that I am skinny, and I believe I am. Even though my BMI isn’t as low as some of yours I AM thin AND healthy. I also work out and am a very good athlete, someone who can do 50 pushups, someone who can do 100 sit ups, and someone who can run mile in under 8 minutes.
I’m 4’11” and 103lbs = 20.8 BMI
Underweight = <18.5 Normal weight = 18.5-24.9 Overweight = 25-29.9 Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater
May 27th, 2010 at 6:48 pm
I think skinny chickes r HOTT
May 29th, 2010 at 2:57 am
I don’t even know what is suppost to be healthy anymore. I am 13, 5’6″ and 80 LBS. I have never been over weight but I think I am developing anorexia. Somedays I will eat 3 meals, but usually I eat 2, and sometimes none. I can make a ring with my thumb and index finger around my ankle without touching it. I am getting smaller though. I scare myself sometimes. Sometimes I think I am going to dissapear.
June 9th, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Anonymous, i know this may seem like a hard decision, but you need to tell someone. I know this may be difficult but it is a matter of life or death. seriously. whether it is a teacher, parent, or friend, they can get u help. talk to your doctor too. This may be hard but you can over come this.
July 19th, 2010 at 4:25 pm
In less than a year I have overcome SEVERE anorexia. For years I wanted to be anorexic and thin, but I couldn’t stop eating. Finally I forced myself to count. Finally I forced myself to purge when I rarely did eat. I was 132lbs and dropped to 97 pounds in 2 months. I gained nearly 50 pounds because I finally started eating again and I gained muscle mass. I’m a size 6 at 142 pounds at 5’3″. I went from sickly thin size zero and XS to being comfortable in a muscular body. I wear a size Large shirt. Something that the thought of a year ago made me vomit. Not purge, but actually vomit.
Do not envy us. We are the delirious ones. I know gaining 50 pounds in a year may not seem healthy and I am now considered overweight, but I am now comfortable in my body.
July 28th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
this is just plain ridiculous! all of you are complaining about how fat you look even though you are completely normal… some of you even underweight. healthy is better than “skinny” and “underweight” any day. i don’t understand why everyone wants to be skin and bones these days, it’s not cute or attractive. just be comfortable with yourself and enjoy life and stop worrying about counting calories or working out for 5 hours a day… your life will make a turn for the better, trust me 🙂 i am 5’7″ and 130-135 lbs and completely comfortable with myself, although most of you girls would probably consider me fat. oh well, all that matters is what you think of yourself!
November 20th, 2010 at 6:49 pm
Those of you who comment about how ridiculous this is, I just want to say, it doesn’t help. Personally, I know how ridiculous it is, and yet it means nothing.
I don’t classify myself as having a specific ED, but I do know for a fact I have disordered eating as well as thinking. For me, it’s all about fear.
I have obsessive tendencies. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Social situations stress me out bc I’m so worried about saying/doing the wrong thing.
I grew up always being wrong, and now that I’m in college, I’m consumed with being right. I’m afraid of what can happen if I lose that control. When I can control how much I eat I feel better about myself. When I can see the weight I’ve lost, I can see the control I have over my body.
I know what this sounds like and I am getting help. I don’t have confidence issues, believe it or not. I’m sweet and caring, funny, and fun-loving. I’m 5’6″ and 125lbs. I am a beautiful girl. I’m thin and I have boobs and a butt too that Im very happy with. I don’t look sick.
But I have this black little monster inside of me. My rock bottom is very deep and when I hit it, life just sucks. When I restrict my eating, I find I’m happier because I’m not worried about getting fat anymore.
I want my body to reflect what I feel like on the inside. Food has stopped being important to me and the sad thing is that i miss it.
November 21st, 2010 at 6:15 pm
It really comforts me to see that I’m not alone with this, and that others think and feel the same way I do.
I hate food, so fucking much. But I can’t seem to stop eating it. I only go for a few days before I cave and eat so fucking much.
I want to be able to purge, but I can’t seem to find the courage to.
I miss being skinny. I was at an absolutely perfect weight as a child. I want it back.
I went to go get my driver’s temps renewed with my mom and the guy at the counter asked how much I weighed. “140,” I replied. “What?! You don’t weight 140!” my mom exclaimed. “..yeah I do..”
That made me feel like absolute SHIT. Sure, it’s good that I don’t LOOK 140, but I do WEIGH 140, and it makes me feel fucking worthless and disgusting. I gained over ten fucking pounds over the summer. It’s DISGUSTING. I want to be rid of it all. I want to be skinny once again. I feel like being skinny solves all issues, though I know for a FACT that it does not.
It doesn’t matter. I still want it more than anything.
March 25th, 2011 at 3:08 pm
Im happy other people feel the same way. I wiegh 110 lbs, I am 5’1′, thats a BMI of 21. I’m fat, really FAT. I have been making my self throw up since I was 11. Two years ago I wieghed 85 lbs after going on a low-carb diet, but I quit it. At my worst I wieghed 120 lbs, obese, right? I don’t even eat that much, but I’m still fat.
April 12th, 2011 at 4:34 am
hey, my name is becky.. Im 14 years old.. when I was 13 I used to be called the skinny girl and it always made me happy.. but now I have put on ALOT since a year I feel really fat and Im on the edge of loosing it. I will do anything to be thin again! I was never anorexic I dont think, although I didnt eat much It was more like I didnt enjoy food. now I love food and my bulging belly proves it, Im 7st 3 pounds and I used to be 6st, I make myself feel sick when I look at myself, and My backside payed the price as it all piled on there! I feel so bad I wanna be thin, can somebody please tell me some tips? I wanna be 6 st again, should I try to puke or stop eating? arrrgh! I just feel so bad!!!
March 3rd, 2012 at 5:24 am
Hey my name is natalie and ive been doing this diet where i write down everything i eat and weigh myself morning and night. Im 5’7 – 5’8 (172cm) and i weigh around 110 pounds (52kg) but i still feel so fat. Ive lost about 6 kg in a week but i dont see any difference. I feel terrible when people say to me that im so skinny and they wish they looked like me because they cant be telling the truth because there are people so much thinner than me. I want to be a model and i want to weigh 45kg but i start to feel really sick and weak after a while of not eating. How do anarexic people excercise when they dont eat and feel weak? I need some tips or something on what foods i can eat without gaining a lot of calories so i can still exercise??