Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

I’ve been tracking the stories about these concoctions since mid-February. The Luther Burger is a bacon cheeseburger served on a Krispy Kreme Donut (or two, depending on the news source). The Ham Dog is a hot dog, wrapped in ground beef and served with cheese, bacon, chili and egg on a hoagie bun. These articles talk about the caloric and fat content of these culinary items and blame them on the South because the restaurant is located in Georgia.

• 02-13-05: Associated Press – Decatur, Georgia – Health officials wage tough fight in America’s ‘Stroke Belt’

• 02-14-05: A Welsh View – The Hamdog And Luther Burger Are Killing Off Southerners

• 02-21-05: Chicago Tribune – In praise of the Luther Burger

• 03-03-05: Snopes.com – Luther Burger

I’m in flux. I want to talk about this, but I don’t know what to say. I have so many voices inside of me.

The Klingon inside of me is screaming, “Road Trip!” over and over with a growl in her voice. She wants to prove to her comrades and the world that she could tackle the Ham Dog and finish it up with a Luther Burger for dessert. It is the same part of me that is tempted by the Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub Challenge. I look at the picture of the Ham Dog. I know it’s supposed to be disgusting, but that cheese is melted. I’ve never tasted a hamburger and a hot dog together with bacon and cheese and chili and an egg. What does it taste like? The Klingon inside of me is demanding to know.

The Paranoid inside of me thinks these articles are just a thinly disguised advertisement for a small pub in Georgia. This is the time of the year that the New Year’s Resolutioners have fallen off the wagon, realized it and want some sort of redemption. These stories give them solace. “I may be eating like crap, but at least I’m not eating THAT!” they say to themselves and a warm feeling toward Associated Press and The Chicago Tribune spreads over them. But then again, that’s the Paranoid speaking.

The Vulcan inside of me is very quiet. She vaguely notices the incongruity of the articles that give an advertisement to a bar, but harp about the unhealthiness of its cuisine. “Why talk about it if it is so bad for the health of humans?” She knows that a Ham Dog eaten on rare occasions is not detrimental to health. She knows that fried food eaten every once and awhile are not death sentences. She is perplexed at the black and white thinking of the press.

The concept of “Good” and “Bad” Foods was part of the reason I was fat for so long. Good Foods were eaten until the call of Bad Foods was too strong. Once I gave in, I always thought, “Well, I’ve blown it anyway, I guess I should eat all the things that I have been missing lately.” There is no wholly good or bad food. Anything taken to an extreme is unhealthy. Anything eaten in moderation is healthy, except poison and broken glass. The Ham Dog is not a poison. It’s an unhealthy food that needs to be eaten only as a treat. Eating one won’t “Blow It” unless I decide to keep bingeing for days afterward.

Ironically, giving myself permission to consume a Ham Dog quiets the Klingon within me. In the end, however, the Vulcan wins the argument. “Drive all the way to Georgia just for something to eat? Illogical.” The two of them spend the rest of the day trying to stuff the Paranoid back into its cage.

Update 06-26-05: Eric Blade sent me a link to his site. He doesn’t really add anything to the health of the Hamdog discussion, but he does provide us with another picture.

• Eric Blade – What the H*ll Are Hamdogs?