Buy Walking VideosRemember The Compliments
This motivational poster from Library of beauty surprised me.
It reads:
Remember the compliments you receive. Forget the insults.
When I look at this honestly, I have found that the compliments send me back into overeating FAR more than the insults. I had been insulted by my grandmother since I was four years old. The kids at grade school called me Chug-A-Lug. It was all one huge insult, so much so, that it didn’t hurt anymore. Sure, call me fat. I AM fat.
The compliments, however, are jarring. “You must really be enjoying your skinny new body.” “You are looking so good, have you lost weight?” I had compliments like that back when I was still bingeing and purging with exercise.
I’ve had compliments like that now, and it feels different. It’s one of those rare times when “attraction, not promotion” is at work for Overeater’s Anonymous. I feel like it’s my duty to tell the person who complimented me how very grateful I am to OA. The compliments STILL make me want to binge, though.
I haven’t figured this out yet, because it seems like the polar opposite of what I should feel. Shouldn’t compliments make me want to work even harder? I really don’t understand what is going on in my mind when this happens, but quite honestly, I’d rather have neither compliments nor insults. I’d rather just live my life without anyone feeling that it’s within their right to comment on my body.
Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.
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February 9th, 2015 at 12:42 pm
I totally agree about wanting to live my life without anyone judging and commenting on my body, positively or negatively!
I also feel the need to binge more when things are going well. I read a really interesting book about surviving emotional abuse and it talks about how emotional abuse creates this negative introject that lives inside us and works all day to confirm our own belief that we are worthless. When we get compliments or start feeling good, that little part of our brains works even harder to make us feel bad again. It is something I really struggle with after small successes or when I am feeling good. Just thought I would share that.
I have never been to OA, but after reading your blog I think I am going to try a meeting.